What Does It Mean to Process Emotions?

I say things like these to clients often: We need to process the sadness.  Let’s sit with your fear.  There are lots of emotions we need to unpack and process here.    One day, someone finally asked me ‘What do you mean by processing emotions?’ It dawned on me what jargons these are. Hey therapists, why …

dry lake bed

Some Thoughts on Death

“…within the hollow crown That rounds the mortal temples of a king Keeps Death his court and there the antic sits, Scoffing his state and grinning at his pomp, Allowing him a breath, a little scene, To monarchize, be fear’d and kill with looks, Infusing him with self and vain conceit, As if this flesh …

What Do We Show? What Do We See?

How often do we show the world what we think it expects to see? a loyal employee, a smart woman or man, a friendly stranger, a knowledgeable expert, a supportive friend, a sweet daughter, a helpful coworker, a dependable spouse, How often do we spend hours and hours with people and only see what we …

Happy rat

It’s the Environment, Stupid!

Rat Park In the early 1980s, a Canadian researcher by the name of Bruce Alexander published a couple of interesting articles about his work with rat populations. What Alexander did was take some rats and give them some dope—but with a twist. Alexander made water containing opiates available along with fresh water to the rats. …

No Wonder It Doesn’t Spark Joy!

I work with many clients with hoarding challenges. They have helped me to see and heal the ‘hoarder’ in me and others who come to see me NOT because of hoarding. I will use my own examples to clarify what I mean, and hope parts of this article resonate and are helpful for you: I …

Alone But Not Alone

Last week, a client said “I have been so lonely during this pandemic. The isolation and stay-at-home orders have made me feel so alone.” I can feel the loneliness she was talking about, and even more, I can understand it because I have felt it too. I believe we all have; it is universal to …

Stormy Skies

Two Boats and a Helicopter

I’ve been vaguely obsessed with a joke for most of my life. It goes like this: A terrible storm descents on a country town. Eventually the streets are flooded, and the water is rising fast. The town preacher is standing on the steps of the church, praying for deliverance, when a guy in a row …